Hi thank you john for your answer, it is very quite. i just wanted to know if anyone had info about something that might have been said about talking or haveing anything to do with disfellowship family, it seems odd that 2 people i know have had their family move away from them in the last month, one a mother, and my own daughter, who's father moved 300 miles away from her, i still find it hard to belive he would really do that, but he has. at least im here for her.if anyone has any info to enlighten me i would be greatfull. thank you all. starling

Hi Starling,I have never been a jw nor any of my family either so cant comment on your question,but there are those on this forum who can so I hope some one will respond to your post.
I have read/heard so many who have and still going through this shunning practice and it is really is sad when this sort of thing happens in a family. I cannot see how the govern body can justify this false teaching it is certainly not what Our Lord Jesus Christ taught.
my heart goes out to you and others who find them self in the same situation.
John

thank you john i hope someone knows whats going on as well,the wt did not always teach shunning, at one time in the 50's they called it a non bible teaching all becouse the cathlic church taught it, i think they would say anything was wrong if the cathlic church taught it. but the jw's were very much against it at one time, i have read it in the mags, and i belive it is in ray franze books to, i was a jw for 30 years and my daughter has just left 2 years ago, i wrote a letter to the elders in my cong and told them why. our lives are getting better, the guilt is not as bad as it was, and we are both learning to enjoy life without the guilt of never doing enough. we are looking forward to xmas this year only the first time my girl has joined in, and just 4 times for me. hope you have a very good and peacefull one. starling.

Yes you are right about the introduction of shunning fellow witnesses, since Rutherford came into power he along with others introduced a lot of changes in the organization. Mainly I guess to gain more control over WTS, it seems to me that "Fear" runs through the organization and still is to this day.
Do you know of any ex-jw groups in your area that may be of some help to you, one question I would ask you Starling and that is were do you stand spiritually since leaving the wt, I know that many ex-jw find that they have had enough of religion and want nothing more to do with it and that is very understandable it has turned them completely of God/Jesus.

john

Hi John, you are right the jw's are run on fear, in as much as they fear they are not good enough, not doing enough, not listen enough, in fact they cant do enough in the eyes of the gov body. as for myself {long pause here} i can never doubt what my eyes tell me, that there is intelegent design this world, space, humans, in everything i see around me. as for a God who cares, thats something i am trying to get my head around, im not sure of the bible anymore, it seems to me that mankind has made a big muddy pool of any belife we have had in God i cant see the wood for the trees in other words, i dont know maybe we are not surppose to understand. i must be the type of person that will always be searching for truth, sad to say i dont trust any man made organnization any more, its been to long and to much heart ache to go through it again, i havent got the strengh John, and thats the truth. thanks my friend for asking. starling

Hi starling, I am very sad and bewildered that you have not got any response from any one I really don't understand.

You have put your finger on the fault when you said,
these type of religions/organization have nothing to do with true christianity as they entail mans rule/control.
True christianity is based on true fact and faith in Jesus Christ and it is to him we trust for salvation.

I do realize like many others, you need a little breathing space and time to reflect so I will leave it there.

john

Hi John. i used to read a lot from this site and post as well but where is everyone?? maybe we should ask cal whats happened? all i can see right now is everyone who has some sort of faith in God is run by man, who els can run things, if its God then why so much pain and suffering, i dont belive its becouse he is waiting for a date in time to settle matters, that to me would mean he has no feelings for humans, i wouldnt let my child suffer any pain if it was in my power to stop it, and we are talking of thousands of years of suffering, for us thats a long time. well its nice to talk to at least one person who seems to care, thank you John. starling. have a nice xmas x

I don't know of any "new light" regarding disfellowshipped family. It always steams my cookies anyway. My mother in law actually thinks I blocked her home phone number from our house. She never calls to talk to the kids or asks to see them.

We just had a blizzard here in the KC metro area. She could get out for her two day assembly over last weekend but didn't know if she really wanted to get out in the weather when my 12 year old daughter wanted to go to her house for the day. Then she told my wife "thank you for letting emilee come over today." WHAT????

Hypocritical.......

Starling, I don't know if anything has changed per se (it seems like they change so often it's hard to keep up), but I'll tell you about a family member of mine so you can have an idea of how disfellowshipping the JW way is so cruel and unloving.

My aunt and uncle have been JW's for over 40 years. My uncle has been an elder since I can remember. Both their daughters were raised in the org. The oldest daughter is my age. She married at about the same time I did, only to a man some 25 years her senior. I thought it was pretty weird to marry someone old enough to be your father, but he was a JW so it was okay. I spoke to her over the phone back in 2002, she was still married and had no children. He had children about her age.

Recently I met up with another cousin of ours who casually mentioned my JW cousin had divorced and remarried! I was surprised, because I know the only acceptable reason for a JW to divorce is adultery. I quickly called my sister who would have found out from my mom what was going on. Turns out my cousin's husband had turned violent towards her, and when the violence escalated to the point of him trying to choke her, not once but twice, she decided it was time to end the marriage. She also met a man closer to her own age who, in my aunt's words, treats her so well and she is so happy. Well, guess what? She's disfellowshipped, because she divorced her husband who hadn't cheated on her, and remarried. Can you believe the unfairness of that?! As if God would expect her to stay in this dangerous and unhealthy relationship so long as that man didn't cheat on her! My understanding is that, although she is shunned by the cong, her parents and sister still speak to her. I'm hoping and praying that my family will see the injustice and lack of love in this situation and realize it isn't God's will. Sadly, my mother's reaction to the whole thing was that my cousin shouldn't have remarried. She believes my cousin should have just separated from her husband if she felt threatened. Mom went so far as to cast a shadow of doubt on my cousin's suffering, which hurt me to the core. I don't believe for a moment my cousin would make up this story, but that's how witnesses think. It takes us back to the words found at Matthew 15:8-9: "This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching human precepts as doctrines."

Blessings,

Mrs. R

Hi mrs R, good to hear from you, as a witness of 30 yrs i understand how they can feel the way they do, i did the same myself once, but its all down to wanting to be right in the eyes of God, and your fellow witnesses, you are basicly brain washed every single meeting and the more you do not attend the more you see the wrongs that are preached from the platform at the k halls, people are called sheep in the org, and i have noticed what sheep do in the fields around me, they just follower each other, even if it is into danger, we have marshlands here in England and the tide comes in very quick, the farmer has to get his sheep in before the tide gets to them or they will just stand there and drown, i can see the likeness, my daughter was put out after i had left, she lost every one of her so called friends and family, her father has moved 300 miles away, that broke her heart, but at least we have each other, not becouse we belong to an org but becouse our love as mum and daughter is stronger then any man made system, that is love no one can distroy. thank you for writing Mrs R. starling x