thanks so much for the welcome CR and Cal
I've been reading over people's profiles and posts. It's quite interesting all the different stories.
I guess this is where I'll give a little intro to who I am and why I'm here. I'm a born again Christian raised in a Christian home for 27 years. I've been dating a wonderful guy for 6 months now who was raised a JW in Europe. He has been in the states for a long time, we met in Illinois each traveling with our jobs, and began a long distance relationship.
I would soon find out over numerous long conversations over the phone that he grew up JW, but that he no longer attended. I had always been taught that JWs were part of a cult, so this kind of worried me about starting a relationship with him. But, as we continued to talk...it seemed as if he were so hungry for spiritual food and healing found only in a relationship with Jesus. I thought and still think that I was placed in his life for a reason.
I began to look up some non-denominational churches in his area and he even attended some by himself and once with me when I visited. When he visited me, he came to my church with me. I began to really pray and enlisted others to pray for his salvation and the direction of our relationship. I also started reading everything I could get my hands on about JW (I've read David Reed and Joe Hewitt's books and lots of info on JW doctrine)
So, long story short...we've been dating for around 6 months long distance...we've been reading the bible together (at his suggestion)..we are now in Luke using the NIV. But about 2 months ago, he started to become resistant and talked down about what I believed. We started getting into numerous arguments about bible doctrine. That's about the time that he started going back to the KH and reading watchtower literature.
I remember when I came to visit him in Oct. I saw the watchtower lit. and NWT at his nightstand, my heart sank!
Anyway, he came to visit me for Thanksgiving and this past weekend for Christmas. Things had been going better with our reading the bible together...I have been trying to stay in the student mode like this website suggests and also trying to do stuff from the do's and don's of this site, etc.
We spent Christmas with my family. I wasn't sure if he was going to get me a present, but he ended getting me some really nice gifts and some for my family. It was like the first few days, he was the happiest person...not saying any negative stuff about C'mas or anything...it was like he had a spark in his eye....until we went to the c'mas eve service at my church. It's like a switch went off. He was sitting next to me and I could feel the tension...he started getting very cocky, asking why the church was decorated, why we had an American flag in the corner, and all kinds of stuff...he even said after the service that he could not listen to my preacher ever again b/c he lied to the whole congregation saying that "Jesus was born on this day." It really upset me, we got into a huge argument on the ride home...he later apologized, but it still stuck in my mind the whole time.
Later, after talking some more, he admitted to me that he had been disfellowshipped (or disassociated) whatever you call it 4-5 years ago. I thought that he just stopped going. He was disfellowshipped b/c of his divorce and an affair that happened (I knew about this but not about the disfshp)
He told me a few weeks ago that he had a meeting with the elders ( I thought for sure it was to discuss the situation about me, us dating), but later I found out he was reinstated or whatever you have to do to get back in. I have a feeling they (The elders) have no clue that he's dating me (an apostate
) or that he celebrated c'mas and t'giving.
So now I'm at a loss. I know that I cannot marry this man if he is going to be a witness, I just can't live that way. But when do I give up on him altogether...he still wants to read the bible with me...I just keep thinking the truth will shine through and the Holy Spirit will reveal it to him. I keep thinking of that verse about God's word being living, active, sharper than any 2 edged sword.
Boyfriend also gave me a book this past wkend, "what does the bible really teach" ...it makes me nauseated to read it...I literally want to scream reading the info. But I feel like this may be the key to getting through to him...by reading it and asking questions, getting him to think.
I just don't know how much more I can take. If anyone has any advice or any experience with dating a JW, I would welcome the advice. I know through reading these testimonies that it is possible to come out of the WT, and that gives me hope for him.
Sorry this was kind of long.