My name is Jill. I’m married to Brian and have a 3 year old daughter Shelby.

I spent a good portion of my childhood and teenage years indoctrinated with the Jehovah’s Witnesses religion. Our last meeting was probably my senior year of high school, 9 years ago. I lacked a religious interest for quite awhile. Always believed God existed but figured that I had failed him so He wanted nothing to do with me. When my daughter was born in 2004 I began a renewed interest. I had an “Armageddon” dream and figured that was God’s way of telling me that I should be a JW. So I ran into someone at the gym that we had known back from my teen years and agreed to study with her, not necessarily convert but genuinely wanted to learn more. I came into this a little jaded though based on our previous experience with the JWs. We were one of those families that missed meetings and as a result seemed we were shunned. I really just wanted it to be a learning experience, while using the Bible as my primary source rather than the JW publications. I lasted a few months when my “teacher” realized I wasn’t going to convert she decided she didn’t want to continue the study. So I let go of religious interest for awhile. I continually prayed for God to find me, but never felt that “thing” that so many people talk about.

About a month ago, God came to me in a way I could have never imagined. My brother who is 17 (and has been like a son to me) was arrested for robbery along with 2 of his friends. He and his friends approached 3 individuals and robbed them with toy guns. This was a huge hurt for our family. The feelings I had dealing with this were similar to the feelings of grief when a loved one passes away. I had a sense of hopelessness that I had never had before. I won't get into the details of the crime, but this is completely out of character for my brother. So thinking of him in jail was unbearable for me, I was heartbroken, in addition to trying to support my mom and the rest of my family. I reached my breaking point and finally turned to God as a last resort, and asked him to give me peace and strength to help my family get through this. And it happened. Almost immediately. I started to think positively and haven't cried since (prior to this I was crying pretty much all day every day). Additionally, my brother went to God and asked for forgiveness and strength and to change his heart. He had nothing but a Bible to read for a full week. Now that I've talked to him, it seems he wants to go back to the Kingdom Hall, it's the only religion he's ever known One thing that struck me was that if we were currently involved with the JW they would have turned their backs on my brother and my family in a heartbeat. My grandparent's church in Indiana sent out prayer chain emails for my family and my brother and were so supportive to my grandparents and to myself as we were taking this so hard. All this for people they did not even KNOW. That is true Christian love if I've ever seen it.

So I decided that this was what I needed to give my life to God. So I approached him in prayer and I feel like a different person now. I have heard people talk about being "saved" or having a revelation, and I always thought they were crazy. But now I know what they are talking about. Now I am finding time every day for prayer, reflection and Bible Study. I came here for encouragement and fellowship while this is so new to me. I have yet to find a church in my area (Rochester, NY) but I am searching. My grandparents, who I am very close with and who live in Indiana, go to church and their pastor has been researching churches here in Rochester that would be good for us.

Even now, knowing God's truth of salvation and grace, I still sometimes get that twinge that the JW planted in me all those years ago, and it's disturbing. Every day though I get stronger and that's why I am came here, to have the support of those that have been in the same place as me and to hopefully provide support to others as well.

I look forward to the conversation and fellowship oooh, and sorry to ramble so much!

"So I decided that this was what I needed to give my life to God. So I approached him in prayer and I feel like a different person now. I have heard people talk about being "saved" or having a revelation, and I always thought they were crazy. But now I know what they are talking about."
I've heard of this happening to many people, including family members and co-workers. It's never happenned to me, but the minute God deposits a grotesque amount of money into a swiss bank account for me, I'm sure I will feel it and know it!

Welcome to the forum Jill. Your story is so similar to many of ours. I had many Armageddon nightmares, more than I'd like to remember. Knowing Jesus has freed me of that fear, because I now have a relationship with Him, not an organization. You'll find many supportive and loving people on this forum. I look forward to knowing you more.

God bless,

Mrs. R

Hi deuceybean, welcome to the forum, yes there is plenty of support for you at this forum.
While a majority on this forum .are ex jws there are some like my self have never been a jw but we all share the same compassion to wards each other.Yes it is great to have Christ as your saviour,

Shackled by a heavy burden,
'Neath a load of guilt and shame,
Then the hand of Jesus touched me,
And now I am no longer the same.

[i]He touched me ....Oh he touched me,
And Oh the joy that filled my soul,
Something happened and now I know,
He touched and made me whole.[i]

Since I met this blessed Saviour,
Since He cleansed and made me whole,
I will always sing His Praises,
I'll praise Him while eternity rolls.

some may look for an earthly inheritance,
but the wise seek for their inheritance in heaven.

once again a very warm welcome

john

Hi Jill,

What a great testimony! I identify with a lot of things you mentioned. For me, who had grown up with two religious parents and attending church on a weekly basis, I had kind of grown blasé about God. Yeah, I believed, sort of, but it wasn't REAL for me...

...and then suffering struck my own family and caused me to pay attention to my deep emptiness, that which only God can fill. When I came all the way to the end of my rope, and heard the promises of a new life in Christ, I invited Christ to be Lord of my life at age 16 and have never turned back. Within three months I had read the whole Bible and never expected it to come alive to me as it did.

I am happy you are with us at Towerwatch. I have found a lot of support, love, and thinking minds here, and you will too!

Welcome!

Jay